


The James Tales: The Beginning

by jadekirk



Series: The James Tales: Life and Times of a Chef [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Badass chef, Bashing aliens on the head with a large metal mixing bowl, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-01
Updated: 2011-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-26 18:25:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/286497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadekirk/pseuds/jadekirk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How James became a companion of the Doctor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The James Tales: The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> It's about time I wrote how James (yes, he is the same one who was in the 'On The Road' Series) ended up on the TARDIS, isn't it?

James grinned as he stirred the sauce that was simmering away in a large saucepan, before moving to check the salmon that was in the steamer. James was a tall, standing at six foot one, red head with brown eyes. He had been told that he looks like a Scottish actor but James didn't believe them. He worked as the Assistant Head Chef in the Officers' Mess in an army barracks just outside Cardiff. He was in the middle of preparing for a function for the officers and the service was soon.

His friend, Rob, walked in, holding a tray of plates, for the starters. Each plate held a a sugared glass filled with melon balls. Rob was shorter than James with brown spiky hair and bright blue eyes. He was the Head Chef and James' boss. He placed them on the side and went to collect the other trays.

"Want a hand?"

"Please. Both of them if you can manage," Rob said with a grin as James followed him into the walk in fridge and grabbed a tray of plates. "Cheers, mate," he said to the man in brown pinstripes as he held the fridge door open for them both, getting a nod in reply.

Neither of the two men noticed the man pull out a thin metal tube and surreptitiously scan them, nodding in satisfaction as he read the results.

"So, what have you got planned for your holiday?" Rob asked after they both had brought the last one out.

"Not much. Might catch up with my reading," James answered with a shrug moving back to his sauce.

"Ladies, keep this one away. He's such a wild one," Rob teased, getting a stuck out tongue in reply. "Seriously, I think you need to start dating again."

"Rob..," James warned as he went to fetch a pile of medium sized flat oval shaped metal platter dishes, which he placed on the hotplate under the lights.

"I know your last one really hurt you, but you need to put her in the past."

"That's an understatement," James said dryly,as he turned the heat on the stove down. "I'm just happy being single at the moment."

"Fine, but if you find someone, make sure to text me all the details," Rob said, waiting for the serving staff to come and pick up the starters. "Two at a time, people," he ordered them. "We don't want the melons to fall off the plates."

"You heard the boss man," James said with a grin. "We don't want the guests to think the jugglers have arrived."

"That's for afterwards, isn't it?" a tall, even taller than James so James had to lean his head back to look him in the eye, younger man asked cheekily with a slight Swedish accent.

"Oh, go on, Patrick," James said, shaking his head in amusement, "before I take the spoon to you," he threatened good-naturedly.

"Oooh, saucy," Rob joked, getting a nudge in the side from James.

"That was a bad joke," James said with a smirk. "Sure," James said, once the servers had gone, "but I have a feeling you'll have to wait a long time for that text."

"What about your other exes? I hope they aren't all crazy like her."

"Definitely not. I stay friends with most of them."

"That's good. What about that bloke you picked up a few weeks ago? You seemed to hit it off straight away."

James frowned, noticing the same man in pinstripes lurking around nearby but shrugged it off, guessing he was one of the numerous agency staff that were there for the function. "It didn't last."

"That gorgeous woman before that?"

"She loved someone else. You could tell."

"You still slept with her."

"I still can't remember much of that, you know."

"Yeah, well, you were extremely pissed. Surprised you actually got it up."

"Right, now that we've got discussing my pathetic love life out the way," James said, moving to open the steamer and pulling out the trays that the salmon are on.

"Not pathetic."

"Easy for you to say. I feel pathetic." James answered, using a pair of tongs to transfer the steaks from the trays to the dishes.

"You going out before your holiday is over?" Rob asked, quickly changing the subject, moving to the other steamer and pulling out the dishes of vegetables.

"Maybe, no karaoke though."

"But..."

"It's not my thing."

"I'll get you singing sooner or later," Rob promised as he placed the vegetables in small silver plated dishes.

"When Hell freezes over."

"Dunno why you are so set against it."

"Stage fright," James answered plainly, as he garnished the salmon with a slice of lemon and parsley.

The man in the pinstripes walked up behind James. "Do you know where the cream is kept?" he asked in a London accent.

"Single or double?" James, not really paying attention to the man behind him, answered as he transferred the sauce from the pan to the metal dishes.

"Anything."

I think there's some in the store room," Rob replied absently, ladling the sauce into sauce boats. "James, go show him. I'll deal with the sauce."

"Follow me," James said, taking the man to the store room. "It has to be signed out. Now what's your name?" he asked as he went to the fridge to get the cream out. "I hope squirty's all right."

"I'm the Doctor and I think it'll be fine."

James hoped his shock wasn't showing on his face. He had heard of the Doctor. A mystery man who swoops in and saves the planet before disappearing again. "Right. Yes. What do you need this for?"

"There's an alien on the loose. Very nasty thing... Allergic to cream. Also not fond of Time Lords."

"Time Lords?"

"I'm a Time Lord. I'm from another planet."

"So, what, you're an alien too?"

"Yes."

"Okay," James said warily, not sure whether to believe this weird man or not. "Prove it."

"What? Why?"

"I need to know."

"Who are you?"

"James."

The Doctor sighed and grabbed James' hands in his cooler ones and placed them on either side of his chest so James could feel his double heartbeat. "Happy now?"

"Now I am." A loud yell made him jump and both he and the Doctor, after grabbing the tin of cream, raced next door to come face to face with a giant bug alien cornering a frightened kitchen porter against the sink. "Ew!" James exclaimed in horror. "It looks like that alien out of Men In Black!" The alien raised a clawed arm to swipe at the kitchen porter, who was fending it off with a metal dish. The alien's claws tore through the dish as if it was tissue paper. "Holy shit!"

"Hey!" the Doctor said, squirting the alien with the cream, causing it to roar in a mixture of pain and anger. He ducked as the alien swiped at him. "A little help?!"

"Oi, leave my staff alone!" James yelled, grabbing the nearest thing, which happened to be a large mixing bowl waiting to be washed, and swung it at the alien. It connected with the back of the alien's head with a loud boing. The alien swayed on the spot before dropping to the floor with a thump and disintegrating into a small pile of dust. "Right, now that that's dealt with, I need to get back to my salmon." He turned to the kitchen porter. "Go have a few minutes," he ordered.

"I'm impressed," the Doctor said, amazed at the red head's calmness. Maybe it was time to pick up a new companion and it seemed that James had the qualities he liked in a companion. He wondered how the red head was at running. "Come with me."

"Excuse me?"

"Travel with me."

"Now?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"I have to finish this function first," James replied, moving over to where a broom and dustpan and brush were tucked away in the corner.

"I'll be off then. Leave you to tidy up."

James reached out and grabbed the Doctor's sleeve. "Oh no you don't," he said, thrusting the broom into the Doctor's hands. "You can clean this up."

"I'm a Time Lord, I shouldn't have to clean up."

"My kitchen staff have enough to do without cleaning up after you," James said, impressing the Doctor even more. "If you do this, you might get something to eat."

As if on cue, the Doctor's stomach grumbled. "Fine," the Doctor said softly.

"This dust... It's not poisonous, is it?" James asked.

"Nah! It can be thrown in any bin," the Doctor answered, sweeping it up and placing it in the bin that James indicated.

"I need to get back to the function," James said with a sigh. "Do you need the cream for anything else?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"I can put it back then," James said. "I'll see you around."

"Yeah," the Doctor said, watching James walk out of the room with a sigh. Hadn't James said something about feeding him? He quickly followed James back to the hotplate and saw him talking to Rob.

"Ah, there you are," James said when he saw him. "Thought you had gone."

"James was just telling me about him helping you get rid of a bug in the plate wash area," Rob stated, putting plates on the side so James could place the dessert of tiramasu on them.

"Mmhmm," the Doctor said, swallowing. "All dealt with now."

"Good. The last thing we want is a bug invasion."

"You not going to eat?" the Doctor asked James with a raised eyebrow, watching as James dusted the top of the tiramasu with chocolate powder.

"Not yet. I finish work in about ten minutes so I'll eat then."

"Don't worry, James, I'll save you one," Rob said, putting one of the desserts in the fridge for James.

"Thanks, Rob," James said with a smile. He absolutely loved tiramasu and Rob knew that.

"No worries. That's what friends are for," Rob answered with a smile of his own. He got his first real look at the Doctor's face as he turned away from the fridge. "Are you two related?"

"Not that I'm aware of," James answered, "why?"

"You look so much alike. Well, except James has red hair."

The Doctor and James shared a look. "I don't see it," the Doctor commented with a raised eyebrow. "And James here is from this planet."

"Huh?"

"I'm from another planet," the Doctor blurted out, before mentally kicking himself. Before Rob could ask him to prove it, he grabbed Rob's hands and placed them on his chest.

"Double heartbeat," Rob muttered, slightly shocked. "Oh, well, as long as you're willing to work and not about to take over our planet, I don't care if you are from Pluto."

"I'm not from Pluto. And I'm the friendly neighbourhood Time Lord."

James laughed and shook his head as a mental image popped into his head. "I'm going to eat before I fall down," he chuckled, moving to the hotplate and helping himself to some salmon, vegetables and potatoes with a generous amount of sauce on top.

"Go!" Rob said shooing his friend away. "Don't rush it. Come get something to eat, Mr Time Lord. We have salmon with a seafood sauce... Or a vegetarian dish if you prefer," he added, talking to the Doctor.

"Okay," the Doctor answered, descending on the food, piling his plate high. "Er, where shall I go now?" He grinned. "And my name's the Doctor."

"I won't. I have a whole week to twiddle my thumbs ahead of me," James retorted. "Follow me."

The Doctor followed James to the staffroom and sat next to him. "Mm," he moaned as he took his first bite. "This is brilliant."

"Glad you enjoy it," James said, between bites.

"No, really, please come with me. Just as a treat for helping me defeat the Sha'ajrl'us'sikqlon. The giant bug," he added at James' perplexed look.

"Oh. Okay," James answered. "But only for a week as I have to come back to work. I'll have to go home first so I can water my plants and see if I have any post."

"I promise. You haven't got anyone at home to worry about you, have you? Mother? Father? Brother? Sister?"

"Both my parents are dead and my brother... I don't speak to him. I live alone and I'm not in any relationships at the moment."

"Oh."

"And I'm not looking either."

"Oh. Good. Me neither," the Doctor said, polishing off the last of his food and laying his knife and fork down on his plate.

James finished eating, stood up and picked up both his and the Doctor's plates. "Stay there. I have tiramasu to look forward to. You want some?" he asked. "Tea? Coffee?"

"No, thanks."

"Bowl of milk?" James added cheekily.

"No thank you. I'm not a cat!"

"Well, I don't know! You could be from the planet Meowville for all I know."

"Well, I'm not."

"Okay," James said, taking the plates to the plate wash area and adding them to the small pile of plates, before moving to the fridge and collecting his dessert. He also poured himself a cup of coffee, also doing one for Rob, placing it next to his friend's elbow as the dark haired man frowned at his computer screen. James had the feeling that the Doctor drank tea and prepared a pot for him, even though the Doctor had refused. If the Doctor didn't want it, he could always offer it to one of the many tea drinkers that they had working for them. He put it all on a silver tray and carried it back to the staff room.

 

He sat back down next to the Doctor. "Tea?"

"How did you know? As soon as you went upstairs, I fancied a cuppa and was about to go upstairs for one," the Doctor asked, pouring himself a cup of tea, adding milk and four sugars to it and stirred it.

"Lucky guess," James answered with a shrug, sipping his coffee after adding cream to it. "Mm, the person who made it today, did it all right," he said in amazement.

"You're not telepathic, are you?"

"Don't think so."

"Hmm, this is good tea, James... What is your surname?"

"Um, Bardulf," James said, slipping easily into the lie.

"Right, well, James Bardulf, are you ready to travel through time and space?"

"First, I have to change, sign out, go home and then I'm ready. I'll meet you at the shops near where the old post office used to be," James said. "I've had my fair share of deranged stalkers so..."

"Oh, James, I like you."

 

A little while later, James walked up to the shops. He wondered if the Doctor was going to show up or not. He stuck his hands in his jacket pocket and looked around. He spotted the Doctor leaning against what looked to be a blue Police Box and he walked over. "Hello!" he said cheerfully.

"Hey! Bracing weather, isn't it?" the Doctor said, his hair being blown all over the place by the wind that had picked up. "Want to go inside my ship?" he asked, patting one of the wooden sides of the box.

"This is your ship?" James asked in amazement, moving to walk around it. "Bit Bill and Ted'ish, isn't it?"

"Did you just compare my ship to an American film?"

"Um, yes."

The Doctor opened the door to his ship slightly. "Go on."

James pushed the door open and entered the ship, which was bigger on the inside. He grinned as he looked around at the coral struts, feeling almost like he was underwater bathed in a greenish gold light. "You know, if I didn't believe you were an alien before, I would now," he said, turning to face the Doctor who looked shocked that he took the dimensions of the ship in his stride. "Either that or a wizard."

"You're not going to say 'it's bigger on the inside'?" the Doctor asked with a pout as he shut the door. "Everyone says it."

"I'm not everyone," James answered, trying not to laugh at the look on the Doctor's face.

"Right, well, I can see you're going to be a hard one to impress," the Doctor muttered, fiddling with the controls on the mushroom shaped panel. "Welcome aboard the TARDIS. That stands for Time and Relative Dimension In Space." He reached out a hand for James to shake which the red head did. "So, James, where would you like to go first?"


End file.
